Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning, so it’s six more weeks of winter.

His official words were:

I’m glad I live in this luxurious burrow on the Knob and not in a dirty, smelly spider hole like a slob. When I come out I don’t want to negotiate, But to just do my job and prognosticate. Today because my shadow I see, six more weeks of winter there will be!

I don’t know why PETA doesn’t get involved with this. I don’t find it offensive that Phil gets the grand pad that he does. I don’t find it offensive that they pull him out every February 2nd. What I do find offensive is that the mayor is always attributing these quotes to Phil. For heaven’s sake, let the guy have a little self-respect. I’ve been to Punxsutawney. I’ve seen where Phil lives. The Phil I know would never say nonsense like that.

As an aside, a local groundhog that goes by the name Woody the Woodchuck reported that spring is on it’s way. Woody apparently has a better record for predicting these events, but she has only been doing this since 1998.