When I showed up to work today, a co-worker ran up to me and screamed:

Where were you when you found out Hunter S. Thompson had killed himself?

I replied:

I guess right where I’m standing now. Is Raoul Duke okay?

I’m not going to trivialize suicide, People kill themselves for very good reasons. Or at least they seem like very good reasons right before the act. Often the act is not one of cowardice, but an act of supreme will. I have a feeling a lot of jerks are going to try and capitalize on his death and try and insinuate that he did this because Bush was re-elected or something similar. I just hope he did it because his health was in bad shape or he was bored or something. I always liked the way that Thompson walked the fine line between real and made-up events. It sort of gives me solid ground to stand on when I publish my own nonsense. While I would like to spend more time eulogizing Mr. Thompson, I have more important things to worry about.

Over the weekend, a group of hackers guessed the password for Paris Hilton’s T-Mobile Sidekick. Now celebrity telephone numbers are showing up all over the internet, and people are crank-calling my house.

Oh, I’m sorry. I just don’t have the strength to pull it off today.