By now everyone should now that Ypsilanti’s Heritage Festival begins on Friday, August 15th and runs through Sunday, August 17th. It’s the 30th anniversary and there are a great number of special events to celebrate the milestone.

In addition to such traditional programming as Loooopy The Clown and Stripes, the Cottonwood Cloggers, the Lah-De-Dah’s, and a giant fireworks presentation on Saturday night by Sky Magic, this year’s Heritage Festival will have Ypsilanti’s first ever Guitar Hero World Championship.

For those of you not familiar with the concept, Guitar Hero is a cultural phenomenon. Scientific American recently called it the second greatest invention ever. It ranked just behind the personal computer and ahead of such important inventions such as the Gutenberg press, the electric light bulb, and TaB.

On a more personal level, how could you not have ever heard of Guitar Hero? I mean, I don’t want to use the played-out cliche “Do you live under a rock?”, but seriously, do you live under a rock or something? My sister won’t even let her kids watch television or eat processed sugar, but even they know how to shred. Seeing that the competition doesn’t begin until 1PM this Saturday (August 16th) on the main stage located on North Washington Street in Downtown Ypsilanti, you still have plenty of time to go out and buy one of the various game consoles that feature Guitar Hero III – Legends of Rock. You can practice for the next five days and become a rock god.

Guitar Hero III may be the greatest thing ever to come into my life (with the exception of my really rad car, of course). It is the ultimate stress reliever. Every single day when I come home from work I’m on my last nerve. To unwind, I camp out on the couch and play Guitar Hero until around five in the morning. At that point, I collapse from sheer exhaustion. I end up waking up late and getting to work around 11AM. My boss is sitting at my desk ready to bitch at me for nearly an hour straight. The only thing that gets me through the rest of the day is knowing that at 2PM I’m going to duck out and head home and shred.

I could see how someone might argue that Guitar Hero is the cause of all the stress in my life, but I think we can all agree that it’s the best thing in the world and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Anyway.

Not only will we be hosting the greatest Heritage Festival event ever, we will also be giving away the greatest prize package ever in the 30 year history of the Heritage Festival. In fact, if the Heritage Festival were celebrating its 100th anniversary this year, the prize package would still be the most awesome ever.

There are three age groups:
14 & UNDER
15 to 30
31 & OLDER

The prizes are as follows:

14 & UNDER:
A $5 gift certificate to The Rocket
A $5 gift certificate to World of Rocks
A $5 gift certificate to the Wolverine
A $5 gift certificate to Pub 13
A $5 gift certificate to The Sidetrack Bar & Grill
A $5 gas card from the BP on East Michigan Avenue
$5 in scratch-off lottery tickets
One FREE admission coupon to Dreamland Theater
$25 CASH from AM1700
One FREE AM1700 tattoo (any size) from Liquid Swordz

15 to 30:
A $5 gift certificate to The Rocket
A $5 gift certificate to World of Rocks
A $5 gift certificate to the Wolverine
A $5 gift certificate to Pub 13
A $5 gift certificate to The Sidetrack Bar & Grill
A $5 gas card from the BP on East Michigan Avenue
$5 in scratch-off lottery tickets
One FREE admission coupon to Dreamland Theater
$25 CASH from AM1700
One FREE AM1700 tattoo (any size) from Liquid Swordz

PLUS A coupon for one supreme pizza The Tap Room

31 and OLDER:
A $5 gift certificate to The Rocket
A $5 gift certificate to World of Rocks
A $5 gift certificate to the Wolverine
A $5 gift certificate to Pub 13
A $5 gift certificate to The Sidetrack Bar & Grill
A $5 gas card from the BP on East Michigan Avenue
$5 in scratch-off lottery tickets
One FREE admission coupon to Dreamland Theater
$25 CASH from AM1700
One FREE AM1700 tattoo (any size) from Liquid Swordz

PLUS One $25 gift certificate from TC’s Speakeasy

More prizes are being added every day, so check back often to see what’s new to the gift basket.

The contest starts promptly at 1PM on Saturday, August 16th. You can sign up at the Crossroads Music Festival or by sending an email to me. Make sure to put the phrase “REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP” in the subject line so that we may route your email properly.