One of my original campaign promises that never quite made it into campaign literature back in 1981 when I first ran for City Council was to legalize gambling on City Council agenda items. Not only would people be allowed to bet on whether or not a resolution would pass, but the number of prop bets possible would be unlimited. Can you imagine how much action we would see on things like how long a meeting would go? Or how many times an audience member called a City administrator or Council member racist? Or where to check a chicken if I tell you he’s dipping snuff?

The potential something like this has is mind-boggling.

The only downside for this scheme is I couldn’t be involved in it. If I were the one running the action, I could easily be accused of vote-shaving or throwing a vote for the sake of arbitrage. Oh, I’m sure I could make up some nom de guerre like The Ypsi Gambler and add it to my existing stable of anonymous blogs like The Ypsi Tattler and Trusty Getto, but that joke’s already gotten a bit old. It’s entirely possible we could start yet another committee or blue ribbon panel to study this. We could even start friends groups like The Friends of Ypsilanti Gambling (FOYG). The sad reality is this idea probably will never happen, so it’s best to let it die an honorable death.

With that in mind, on to tonight’s Ypsilanti City Council agenda.

Tonight’s meeting is packed with juicy stuff like proclamations, presentations, ordinances, and resolutions. Here’s the run-down.

Continuing with the goal of recognizing everyone who has either lived, currently lives, owns property, or works in Ypsilanti, Bill Kinley of Phoenix Contractors and the Riverside Arts Center Foundation Chair will be the recipient of tonight’s proclamation.
[OVER / UNDER on how many times the word “elevator” is used: 4]

There will be a presentation on Urban Farming that will tie into tonight’s text amendment for the Ypsilanti Code of Ordinances entitled “Animals”.
[OVER / UNDER on how many live chickens will be in the audience: 3]
Will someone in the audience be dressed in a chicken suit: YES (-125)
Will someone butcher a live chicken and cook it on a George Foreman grill showing just how local we can have our food: NO(-500)
The odds that someone will let a fox loose in Council Chambers: 100-1

After a rough and tumble, knock-down, drag-out fight over downzoning in the Midtown Neighborhood a short three years ago, Council will be looking at undoing that as well as 30 years of downzoning in the East Side.
[OVER / UNDER on how many speak during the public hearing: 7]

Finally, Council will be taking up for the fiftieth time whether or not Ypsilanti Housing Commssion properties should be held up to the same standards as the rest of the community.
The odds someone will offer a substitute resolution: YES (-1000)

The meeting expects to be a long one. Make sure to bring a snack.
[OVER / UNDER on how many hours the meeting will run: 3.75]