With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I’ve decided to do the right thing and make Tara Reid happy. Most of you know Ms. Reid as the Hollywood party / bad girl known more for her drunken rampages than for her movie career. Well, it turns out that despite her beauty and money, she can’t find the right guy. Lonlieness is a prospect that no one should be forced to live with, so enter Ellen DeGeneres.

Ellen had decided to step in and find Ms. Reid a boyfriend. In an effort to make this ordeal as classy as possible, Ellen is having a contest to win Tara’s heart. Just send a 60 second video stating your intentions and why Tara should marry you. Her only requirements are the guy be “nice” and not be afraid of plastic surgery scars. I think I fit the bill quite nicely. I’d post my entry, but I’m worried that someone steal my ideas. Let’s just say mine has something to do with apple martinis and dermatix.