Two-hundred people were killed today when ten simultaneous bombs went off on a Madrid commuter train during rush hour. Initial speculation was this was the work of the Basque separatist group ETA. Later in the day, the Arabic newspaper Al-Quds al-Arabi said that Al-Qaida is claiming responsibility. In a totally unrelated note, our vacation will no longer include a trip through Madrid on our way to Granada. Instead, we will be vacationing in The Netherlands.

Claiming he was tired of pushy record companies and getting arrested in park restrooms, former Wham pretty-boy, George Michael, announced that he is retiring from recording music for profit. He will release any new albums on the internet for free.

Finally, Krispy Kreme announced that they will offer a low-sugar donut. Mmmmmm. Bland.