Historic District Commsion:  1
Me:                                    2

The members of the HDC are the nicest, sweetest people you’d ever want to meet. I feel like I’m part of the club now. An insider. Part of the neighborhood cadre.

As I was walking home from the meeting, I spotted a couple knocking on doors. It didn’t hit me until it was far too late. If this doesn’t seal the notion that I am the nicest guy in town, then nothing will. Randy and his wife were spreading the word of the Lord and wanted to get me in on the ground floor. I thought they’d give me the tract and be on their way, but I had about twenty-five minutes worth of indoctrination before they finally split. I’m not good at lying, but I was able to talk at length about my church, my bible reading, and Saul. If that isn’t the wackiest thing to happen, I had to pray with them on the porch in order to get them to leave. In retrospect, this was probably a lousy idea. I think my neighbor spotted us with our hands joined and eyes closed praying that this misery and embarrassment would end. I’m all for religion if you want it, but please keep it off my porch. From now on, I’m just going to shoot anyone who steps on the porch that isn’t carrying mail.

Speaking of murdering the religious right, John Kerry made his first decent decision in months by naming North Carolina Senator John Edwards his running mate today in Pittsburgh. Amen to that.