So I’m having breakfast at the Bomber on Saturday morning. I’m just sitting in a booth minding my own business, wondering how everyone else there is at least seventy years older than me, when some guy sits down next to me.

If you’ve ever been to the Bomber on a Saturday morning, then you know if you’re not there by 8:30, your chances of finding a seat — especially one in the non-smoking section — are about zero. It should also be mentioned that I am a freak-magnet (Donita Sparks once wrote a song about me). That may sound a little condescending, but crazy people feel comfortable talking with me.

Anyway.

This guy says to me, “So you like pancakes?”

If there’s anything I’ve learned in dealing with goofy people, its that if you just pretend that you’re dead, there’s a decent chance they will leave you alone.

This guy grabs my plate and says, “Pancakes. You like pancakes?”

Not wanting to be rude, I said, “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t see you sitting there touching my food.”

“If you like pancakes, the Ypsilanti Firefighter’s Local 401 are sponosoring an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast next Sunday (May 22nd) at the Firehouse Museum on Wes-.”

“I know where that is.”

“Look. I’m just saying if you like pancakes this breakfast fundraiser I’m talking about would be a great place to satisfy you pancake jones.”

“Pancake jones? Pancake jones? Do you think you’re Jim Belushi talking like that?”

“But I-”

“And who says that I want to have pancakes two weekends in a row? Pancakes aren’t a breakfast staple like donuts or friend bread and sausage. Haven’t you seen the new food pyramid? I’m not training for a triathalon here.”

“Look. Look. It’s for a good cause. I just thought that since you were eating pancakes it might be something you might be interested in. It’s only five dollars.”

So if you are interested, the Ypsilanti Firefighter’s Local 401 will be holding an all-you-can-eat pancake extravaganza this Sunday morning from 9AM to 1PM at the Ypsilanti Firehouse Museum at the corner of North Huron and Cross streets. If you do decide to go, please don’t sit near me or touch my food. Thanks.