Halloween is the greatest holiday because you can basically say or do anything and no one thinks you’re crazy.

The number of trick or treaters was down compared to last year. I suppose it had something to do with the weather, but that’s the kind of excuse a quitter would use. When I was growing up, we didn’t care if it was raining. We didn’t care if it was cold. We went to every single house in a six mile radius even if it took all night. If we came back home and our parents didn’t think we got enough candy, they’d make us change and send us back out again. My father taught me to appreciate the delicate chocolate wafer goodness of a Kit-Kat.

Anyway. We handed out the usual sugary sweets to the small children who came to the door, but I decided to something different for the teenagers. This year I handed out audio CDs of Gerald Ford’s Presidential Address from August 9th, 1974. I’m not sure the kids understood what they were getting, but they’ll thank me one day. I just hope they don’t thank me with eggs later on tonight when I’m asleep.

If you were too lazy to go out last night, you can download your own copy here.