People often ask me what kind of perks come with being on City Council. I tell them there are non-stop opportunities for graft and corruption.

To be honest, I shouldn’t tell people that kind of stuff. The truth of the matter is we hardly ever get anything free. Our lobbyist bought me breakfast at The Bomber back in August. I think that same lobbyist wanted to take members of Council to a University of Michigan basketball game in the spring. Maybe it was Eastern Michigan. I didn’t go, and would have to check my records to be sure. Of course, there was the big Tigers’ Caravan held at the EMU Convocation Center. That was the the best by far. I remember making Craig Monroe laugh while the mayor was presenting Jim Leyland with a proclamation naming him an honorary citizen of Ypsilanti entitling him to pay income tax. I’m sort of worried that making Craig Monroe laugh got him cut earlier this summer.

Well all that stuff doesn’t even come close to my lastest reach into the cornucopia of free swag.

Waste Management has invited me and my family to an open house at … wait for it … wait for it … the dump.

That’s right. My family is invited to spend an October Saturday afternoon eating hot dogs and taking a guided tour of the landfill on Ecorse Road in Van Buren Township. Talk about hitting the jackpot. A raffle will be held with ten winners being allowed to scavenge one large appliance or a bag of medical waste.

Let me tell you that nothing goes with picnic food like the smell of non-biodegradable diapers set to the music of seagulls. Just thinking about it takes me back to my days of working the Skee-ball booth on the Atlantic City boardwalk.

As my family is small, if anyone wants in on this deal, drop me a line, you won’t be sorry.